Parenting Tips For New Parents

Parenting in today's rapidly changing world is difficult for parents who want to raise their child with a Christ-like heart. Turning to the Bible for guidance is key. Oft quoted, Proverbs 13:24 and 22:6 encourage parents to train and discipline their children. Yet in the expanse of the Bible there's even more that the Word of God has to offer in the way of parenting.

Let's take a look at some deeper biblical teachings that can help you nurture your children's spiritual, emotional, and relational health, so they grow into happy and well-adjusted adults.

What Does The Bible Say About Godly Parenting?

You Should Encourage Your Children

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

As a parent, you should be your child’s biggest fan. Just like you need to be reminded that Christ is on your team and wants you to do well, your children need you to do the same for them. This means listening to them, supporting their dreams and goals and letting them know that you believe in them and are proud of them, even when they make mistakes.

You Need To Have Compassion For Them

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.” – Psalm 103:13

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” – Romans 12:15

One of Christ’s most important qualities was His deep compassion for other people. You can encourage your children to develop this trait by showing them compassion first. This means being understanding and patient with them, even when they are going through a difficult phase or making bad choices. Understand that your children are little humans, with just as much capacity to feel emotions.

It's Your Job To Provide For Them

“Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” – 2 Corinthians 12:14

“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” – 1 Timothy 5:8

When you have children, you become responsible for their needs and wellbeing. Don’t fall into the common trap of wielding housing, clothing and food over your child’s head to manipulate them into obedience.

Instead, recognize that these provisions are what you signed up for and offer them to your children happily and without contingency. This includes giving them a safe and comfortable home, nutritious food and access to education and medical care. It also means teaching them how to manage money wisely so they can provide for themselves later in life. 

There is much wisdom to be sought in regards to how children obtain the “wants” beyond their needs. Should children hold jobs or focus on school? Should allowance money be given for something that is a responsibility that comes from simply being part of the family? How do their “wants”, extracurricular activities, and  ambitions compete for spiritual time? How can we be supportive of their desires but also strike the balance of leading away from things that are detrimental to their faith? These are questions that benefit from our humility to learn from older parents that have learned from experience.

What Do New Parents Struggle With The Most?

Teaching Children How To Manage Anger

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

It’s normal for kids (and adults!) to get angry sometimes – even Jesus flipped tables in the synagogue. But it’s important to teach our children how to deal with anger in a healthy way so they don’t cause harm to others, and so they can lay foundations of self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:21-22).

Teach them how to express their feelings through vocabulary, and when possible help them to have proactive outlets for their emotions, such as physical play, quiet time, and creative activities. You should also teach them techniques for managing anger when it occurs, such as deep breathing or counting to ten before speaking up.

Teaching Empathy & Humility Early On

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another.” – 1 Peter 5:5

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’” – James 4:6

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

Jesus taught humility and empathy alongside righteousness, and it’s important for Godly parents to start teaching empathy and humility early in their child’s lives. These traits not only serve to help you and your children become more like Jesus, they help prepare your children to relate to other people and form meaningful relationships.

Teaching empathy and humility means helping them understand how other people feel and why it’s important to be kind and considerate towards others. It means teaching your child that they aren’t better than anyone else and that an arrogant attitude not only displeases God but drives friends and family away. Doing so early helps your child develop positive traits and qualities that become ingrained before they are influenced by the selfishness and cruelty of others. Teaching children to be generous towards others is a tangible way they can find success.

Offering to share snacks and toys with a friend who is sad, or inviting someone who is left out to join the playtime, are great ways for our children to see the impacts of considering others.

How to Set Age Appropriate

Expectations for Behavior

Get more parenting inspiration at Chicago Church of Christ. Sign up for parenting classes at https://www.chicagochurch.org/midwest-parenting-classes.

Practical Parenting Tips for New Parents

Set a Good Example

“In everything, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” – Titus 2:2-7-8

As a parent, you are one of the most important role models in your child’s life. They will learn from the things you do and say, so it’s important to set a good example for them. Don’t be lured by the “do as I say, not as I do” excuse that allows parents to behave in a manner they would never allow for their child. Show your children how to live a Godly life by being honest, kind and compassionate yourself. Be someone who they can look up to both in public and in private, at home. When (not if!) you make mistakes, set an example of repentance by apologizing and modeling what it looks like to “turn it around”. 

Emphasize Love In Your Home

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.” – Romans 13:8

“Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be the servant to the wise.” – Proverbs 11:29

Christ is love and taught that it was more important than any other tenet or commandment the Father gave. Bringing love into your home is key to building a foundation for your child that they can come back to as they learn to venture out into the world.

Start by creating an environment where your children feel loved and supported unconditionally, no matter what they do or don’t do, just like Christ freely offers love to you without condition. It also means teaching them about God’s love for us all and how we can show our love for Him by loving others.

Make Your Home a Safe Space

“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.” – Isaiah 32:18

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” – Psalm 4:8

Don’t worry too about what your home life looks like to the people who visit it or even anyone from your church – you’re not making a safe space for them. Your home should be a safe space for your child, no matter what that looks like. Create an environment where your children feel loved and accepted and where they can express themselves freely without fear of judgment or rejection. Make sure our family schedules are not not overly-busy and remember that children are not wired to function at a speed that seems normal for adults. 

This also means looking out for abuse and making sure you aren’t inadvertently contributing to an unsafe home environment too. Yelling, emotional manipulation, hitting, and drug or alcohol abuse have no place in any child’s home, let alone one that follows the path of Christ.

Be Kind to Your Children

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” – Matthew 7:12

“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” – Galatians 6:10

Not only should you be teaching kindness to your children, you should be practicing it towards your children. Many Christian parents make the mistake of believing that showing children kindness is a sign of weakness. Or they may cling to too-literal interpretations of scriptures like “spare the rod, spoil the child,” and end up creating an environment entirely of discipline.

Instead, be careful not to become your child’s first bully. Show them kindness in every interaction, no matter how small. These will eventually become habits your child develops for themselves. 

Forgive Them For Mistakes

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

Only Christ was perfect, so be sure your kids have room to make mistakes in a safe environment. Forgive them when they make mistakes, just as God forgives us for our own shortcomings. Let them know that making mistakes doesn’t change how much you love and support them. Teach your children about grace and mercy and help them understand that everyone makes the wrong choice sometimes. This will help them feel more comfortable coming to you with their problems in the future, especially when they are older and faced with critical decisions.