Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Who Can Benefit From Marriage Counseling?

You and your spouse may want to consider marriage counseling if:

• You argue often
• You have poor communication skills
• You can’t agree on things
• You don’t trust each other
• You feel emotionally unconnected to one another
• You’re having problems with physical intimacy
• You disagree on key issues, like having children
• One or both spouses have cheated
• You’re simply having more bad days than good

The Bible has a lot to say about counseling and how followers should seek to gain understanding. Here are just a few scriptures:

• “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Proverbs 15:22
• “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” – Proverbs 12:15
• “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” – James 3:17
• “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2



How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Marriage counseling allows couples to work on their issues with the help of a neutral, trained therapist. This can help avoid fighting or arguing, so couples can find solutions that work for them. Counselors give spouses the tools they need to talk to each other about problems without escalating the situations, which makes it easier for couples to navigate them.

In a Christian capacity, marriage counseling also directs couples to biblical scriptures that can help couples better understand each other and the plan God has for their lives together.

What Percentage Of Marriages Are Helped By Counseling?

A study from MidAmerica Nazarene University reports that a little less than half of all married couples will receive counseling at some point in their marriage. The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy reports that roughly two-thirds of those couples say that their marriages benefited from therapy.

That unfortunately means a third of couples continue to have problems in their marriages even after they’ve finished counseling.

What To Do When Couples Counseling Doesn't Work

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3

Persevere. God wants us to keep trying to do good, even in the face of adversity. In fact, it’s precisely when things become difficult that God performs his biggest miracles.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” – Psalms 34:17

Be compassionate to your children. If you have kids with your spouse, they’ve witnessed the problems you’re getting counseling for first-hand. They may also need therapy or extra support during this difficult time.

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21

If couples counseling hasn’t worked for you, there may still be more options for your family. God tells His followers to wait on His next direction and He will make it clear which steps they should take next:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

The Pre-emptive Pursuit Of Mentorship For Marriage

Marriage mentorship has long been a practice within the community of the Chicago Church. Older couples are paired with younger couples and they cultivate a relationship.  The older couple provides mentorship and guidance to the younger couple and this helps young married couples establish healthier patterns and learn how to build up their marriage.

The practice is growing in popularity with churches and Christian marriage counselors, who can also incorporate biblical teachings and support from the congregation to further benefit couples in therapy. Older couples can give young spouses tips on godly money management, physical and emotional intimacy, and other important components of a healthy and God-centered marriage.

Get Support From Your Chicago Church Family

Your church family is a good source of support for you and your spouse. If things aren’t going well, you can talk to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Since they hold the same beliefs you do, they can give you helpful advice that fits your spiritual lifestyle.

At Chicago Church, we welcome people from all backgrounds. We’re thrilled to offer you and your family a place to feed your spirit and grow with God every week. We strive to foster a sense of positivity, authenticity, and community and would love to dive into the gospel with you. Not only that, but we have seven locations for your convenience.



Whether you’re looking for vibrant music or in-depth scriptural study, we’ve got just the place for you. Plan your visit now.